Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
