I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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