Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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