We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
