? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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