you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
