Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
