My Higher Power is John Stamos
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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