Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
