but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
