So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
