i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
