very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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