Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
