Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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