12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
