I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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