After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Welp...herpes.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So much rum. So many feels.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
