how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Michael Bay diarrhea
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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