You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
