I am in a vortex of obligation.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
