I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
