she looked like the before picture.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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