Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
