Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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