the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
