Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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