she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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