I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
