She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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