The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize