He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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