theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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