I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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