Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
