Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?

(778): View more from British Columbia

Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.

(604): View more from British Columbia

Ohh that happened after I started to cry.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation

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(+86): View more from China

Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.

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(352): View more from Florida

We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?

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