I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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