Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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