I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
