She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
