Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
