carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
