if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
