I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
