Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
