I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
