I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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