They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
