he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
