I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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