She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
