It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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