Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This is not my ceiling
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
