I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
