I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she looked like the before picture.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
