I hope mine doesn't look like that
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You were trust falling into bushes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
