They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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