This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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