I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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