I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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